


No triumph.

by Saturnmond



Series: An infinite amount of hope in the universe [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Brendol is a shit father, Character Study, Hux-centric, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Millicent the cat gets a mention, Poor Hux, So much angst, mentions of child abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-09 19:52:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12895509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saturnmond/pseuds/Saturnmond
Summary: Starkiller Base is falling apart, along with everything Armitage Hux believed to have known about his life and desires. Thinking his end to be near, he is forced to face some regrets about his life. And ultimately his relationship with Kylo Ren.





	No triumph.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is part one of a three-part series. The first two parts are focussing on Hux and Kylo's last moments in TFA respectively. The last one will be a lot longer as well. I hope you'll enjoy!

Triumph had never come easily for him. Born the rotten bastard child of a failed ex-imperial and a poor kitchen servant, he had been a disgrace from the start. Everyone knew he would never amount to something good. The sickly pale symbol of a dying empire with no youth to show for. His father had to punch worth into him with heavy fists, face that particular shade of imperial red. His mother he didn’t remember. When he was small and weak with fever, he sometimes imagined her head looming over him. However, reaching out he never touched anything but the cold durasteel exterior of the nanny droid he foolishly believed had loved him. Later he came to suspect his mother had never wanted him for a reason. She probably had been laid out on a table, raped between meals and discarded of hastily after he had been born. And what an heir he was! Maybe his mother had pressed out a weapon from between her legs that night, sending him to destroy Brendol. And all the galaxy with him for it had failed her so thoroughly. He did. He carried out his purpose beautifully. And the galaxy burned. And the people screamed. And somewhere out there must be something for him.

_Something._

He remembers being small and wanting a lothcat with soft paws. Her whiskers would tickle his face and he would call her Millicent. He remembers closing his eyes, rain trickling against the tiny window of his childhood bedroom. Maybe he could run away. Maybe he could rule the galaxy. Maybe his father was not so bad. Maybe he should kill him. Maybe he will find his something along the path he had been pushed on. Surely.

Alas, this hope too must die. Fate has finally caught up to him. As Starkiller base crumbled underneath his feet he had no wishes left to waste. He threw away his life. And stars, he was scared. Death would come and take him away to a place where there would be neither triumph nor forgiveness. He tried not to think of Ren who was out there dying along with everything. Dying with every possibility they ever had. Every kiss they never shared, every time he stared at those impossible eyes and hated him. Nothing mattered anymore. This was the end. He wondered if Ren was frightened.

_And all he could do was run for him._


End file.
